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A Pension Christmas Carol

A Pension Christmas Carol

The ghost of pension’s future

Ebenezer Scrooge stuck his head out from under the bedclothes warily. An eerie spectre hovered in front of him. The ghost of his old friend Jacob Marley had returned.

"Well, Marley” said Scrooge sitting up quickly. “I didn’t expect to see you again. You promised me a visit from three ghosts, but I’ve only had two so far”

Marley stood quite still and stared at Scrooge without saying a word.

“I don’t know what you ghosts think should frighten people these days but this is a very poor show” said Scrooge. “When you told me that you were going to punish me for not auto enrolling Bob Cratchitt into a pension scheme by sending the ghosts of pensions past, present and future to visit me, I thought you were looking to scare me.”

“But I’ve had a great time with the first two. The ghost of pensions past was a jolly chap. We joined groups of pensioners going on exotic holidays to far-flung destinations, buying second homes in the sun, partying non-stop. It was all great fun.”

Marley stared at Scrooge without saying a word and Scrooge felt a slight shiver of apprehension run down his spine. He shook himself and continued to babble on.

“OK, so the ghost of pensions present wasn’t quite as much of a laugh, but still we met with a great range of people, all enjoying themselves playing golf and going to on theatre outings and to nice restaurants.”

“Very nice people altogether and from all walks of life,” Scrooge hesitated. “Well that’s not quite true. They all seemed to have spent their life performing some form of public service; teachers, doctors, local government staff, that sort of thing. I don’t think I remember seeing anyone who worked for private industry there. But very decent people all the same.”

He turned to look at the shade of his former friend.

“Now, Marley, what’s in store for me with the next one, the ghost of pension’s future? I’d like to see how things turn out with all the changes the government are trying to force on us."

“Where’s the third one. You know, the ghost of pensions from the future?”

“That’s just it,” said Marley, rattling his chains. “There isn’t one.”

Tom Murray

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